moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them
buck-barnes: i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
sweetdez: detrea: fuckyeahhugsandkisses: a-little-insane: the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt The best part about the big spoon is that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my...
flaresof-fibro: Why is a chronic illness shitty? Because it is chronic, not lethal.You have to live through it, find a way to cope everyday, work out how to do as much as you can to make life meaningful….without tipping over your body into meltdown. We get better days, but it is still chronic. It doesn’t leave, it just stays with us in a variety of strengths. You don’t know how your body is...
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.– Mark Twain (via theslimmestroad)
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
There are some questions that shouldn’t be asked until a person is mature enough...– Anne Bishop, Daughter of Blood (via alltressedupandnowhere2go)
edwad: jaseherondale: Did you know in that Australia it’s five times more likely a you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather then looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian